What makes a woman attractive to a man?
In fact every woman sends out signals to men. Most men can detect and read your signals in a matter of seconds. The first pulses you emit are your dress and your body language.
It’s incredibly easy for a woman to attract attention from men. Just wear skin-tight, thigh-length, revealing clothing. You’ll get lots of male attention. But will it be the kind of attention you want? Fishermen insist that the fish you catch is determined by the bait you use.
Would you like to make yourself more appealing to a man who will be attracted to you as a person and not as an object? If so, remember these tips to keep in mind when trying to attract a man.
Confidence is the number one attraction. Being more confident with yourself and your surroundings will attract someone that is equal to you. You will also notice that more people are drawn to you.
Appearance is also a big issue. Your appearance and body language may catch his attention, but it takes personality and charm to sustain a man's interest.
Realize you only have one chance to make a good first impression. If he sees you when you are at your worst then he will not want to look a second time.
Give a man a reason to think about you. Wear a lingering fragrance that haunts his memory, soft clothes that he yearns to touch and a smile that he can't get out of his mind. And don’t forget to leave a little something to the imagination. An air of mystery can be provocative and appealing to a man.
Make him feel important by focusing your full attention on him. Listen intently to what he has to say and respond with respect for his opinions, laugh at his jokes no matter how lama they are, take an interest in his interests.
And finally – don't try and be something you are not. He will be falling for a false idol and will not want to know you when he sees the real you. Let him know you're different from all the rest. Emphasize your originality through your personality, intelligence and behavior.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
WORTH BEING LOVED
They say good man is worth being loved. But then why do people all the time fall for wrong men and women? Moral qualities of a person of cause mean a lot but when we love one we usually can’t define and give a name to that something special in that person that makes us feel this way. Love is an irrational feeling, we can never predict who will be the next and moreover say if her or she will be finally worth it. Everything would be very nice and simple if we could count all the minuses and the pluses than compare the results and in case there are more minuses say “no, I’m not interested”. We all like and in the end love the people who differ, who are personalities, who have that sparkle in them. And it’s sad but good people are sometimes very dull and boring in communication exactly because they do everything right, they never cross any lines.
If you want people, both men and women, to love you – start training your skills in communication. Be pleasant, nice, easy-going, but not too obstructive, learn to be a good listener, because both women and men would prefer speaking of themselves than listening about all your nice features and talents.
Work on your sense of humor, being slightly ironical is always very attractive.
Try to get rid of the stereotypes and to be democratical in your points of view.
Don’t judge too strictly the defaults and weak points of other people – remember you have yours ones. If you really want to attract a person and maybe even try to make him or her fall in love – you shouldn’t criticize your object even if you know that the person is very tolerant to critics. Compliments will do better. Be attentive and helpful. Be good or try to act good. Never tell all at once about yourself. Be a little bit mysterious but not too mystificating. And look after yourself because first we see an appearance and only than personality.
There are some tricks that may help attract the interest of your object. Some say that every man and every woman has his/her vision of an ideal partner, so you just have to find out what it is and act in order to correspond to it. For example a business lady would appeal to an ambitious and successful man, a home man needs a child-woman to care about, a bored man searching for new experience would like an lively girl with the a good sense of humor and etc.
More universal variants of behavior is to be different, to leave your object each time a little bit surprised, one day to look in the eyes and the other to ignore.
This simple trick works but mostly to increase interest which already exists. In case when one doesn’t define you from the environment sometimes it’s better to give it before it gets any deeper.
Playing games even an actor by nature can’t do it forever, so one day the real you will show up and that may be a great surprise for the person that is in love that another you. So staying yourself in any situation is the most reliable way to be. Remember that worth being loved is only that person that loves him/herself. And the most wrong thing one can do is to convince him/herself that he/she is not worth anyone’s love. To attract people you have to be shining, optimistic and – which is very important – self-confident.
If you want people, both men and women, to love you – start training your skills in communication. Be pleasant, nice, easy-going, but not too obstructive, learn to be a good listener, because both women and men would prefer speaking of themselves than listening about all your nice features and talents.
Work on your sense of humor, being slightly ironical is always very attractive.
Try to get rid of the stereotypes and to be democratical in your points of view.
Don’t judge too strictly the defaults and weak points of other people – remember you have yours ones. If you really want to attract a person and maybe even try to make him or her fall in love – you shouldn’t criticize your object even if you know that the person is very tolerant to critics. Compliments will do better. Be attentive and helpful. Be good or try to act good. Never tell all at once about yourself. Be a little bit mysterious but not too mystificating. And look after yourself because first we see an appearance and only than personality.
There are some tricks that may help attract the interest of your object. Some say that every man and every woman has his/her vision of an ideal partner, so you just have to find out what it is and act in order to correspond to it. For example a business lady would appeal to an ambitious and successful man, a home man needs a child-woman to care about, a bored man searching for new experience would like an lively girl with the a good sense of humor and etc.
More universal variants of behavior is to be different, to leave your object each time a little bit surprised, one day to look in the eyes and the other to ignore.
This simple trick works but mostly to increase interest which already exists. In case when one doesn’t define you from the environment sometimes it’s better to give it before it gets any deeper.
Playing games even an actor by nature can’t do it forever, so one day the real you will show up and that may be a great surprise for the person that is in love that another you. So staying yourself in any situation is the most reliable way to be. Remember that worth being loved is only that person that loves him/herself. And the most wrong thing one can do is to convince him/herself that he/she is not worth anyone’s love. To attract people you have to be shining, optimistic and – which is very important – self-confident.
LOVE DECLARATION
How to declare your love in order to get a positive answer? Well first of all you have to be sure that you have the reciprocity. If you don’t have no guarantees of that you’d better ask yourself if you are ready to get refused. And if you are not try do get a little bit closer to your object, to learn more about him or her in order to understand what he or she feels.
If you can’t stay silent no more and want to declare your feelings whatever the reaction may follow still try to make in a way that will be the most acceptable for you both and won’t only push your object away.
Demonstrative personalities like loud and bright love declarations probably in public. It can be a heap of red roses, or huge inscription on the wall, serenades under the balcony. You may fall on your knees and read a love poem in a loud voice, you can glue your printed love declaration all around, you may appeal to people around telling her (or maybe him) about your feeling. If your object is really one of those people who like to demonstrate their relationships and feelings in public she/he will be impressed by your bravery, imagination and the strength of your feeling (although it’s said that only that one who doesn’t feel anything can speak about the love in the beautiful words). And if you don’t have the reciprocity yet such a declaration can be one step forward to it.
But in an object of your love is shy, modest or just reserved and doesn’t like to attract an extra-attention to his/her person this kind of a declaration won’t do and you may get a negative answer even if your object has some kind of a sympathy to you. Words of love said in privacy or whispered in the ear don’t loose any bit of their meaning and probably even gain some.
However you would declare your love be sincere, don’t try to impress or to take your object by surprise, don’t be too pushy, don’t ask for a definite answer at the same moment. Just let the one know that you differ him or her from the other people, that he/she means something special and serious for you.
Love declarations usually come naturally when two people are seeing each other for some time already and are quiet sure about the feelings of each other. Nobody gets prepared to declare his/her love to a partner. it usually comes all of a sudden, by some impulse or just by the way. And when couple has a long-lasting relationships everyday small signs of attention, care and support will say more than all love poems in the world, though such romantic love declarations are very nice either.
By the way if you are shy or can’t find the words to say about your love you can always do by any means of communication which are plenty today, though only after oral love declaration you can observe the very first reaction and expect the most sincere answer.
If you hear “no” in the an answer to the declaration of your feeling don’t loose your hope all at once (exception is when your object starts laughing in your face). You may ask him/her to stay friends, to meet sometimes for a coffee and a chat. Don’t complain, whine or get glued, be pleasant and try to keep some contact. Most people can’t stay completely indifferent to a person who has distinguished them from all other. The one who’s listened to your declaration can starts looking at you more attentively because you are the one who sees in him ore her some features of which the others probably have no idea. Who knows maybe later on this interest may turn to a sympathy or something more or otherwise you may study your object of love better, see it’s real face beyond your fantasies and start feeling a little less in love.
One more question about love declarations – who is supposed to do it first. Traditionally it’s men who declare their feelings first and it’s women who sigh out in answer a languid “yes”. Nowadays both men and women are free to speak about their love and feelings first. Of cause the traditions aren’t totally overcome in people’s mind. Women often are too shy or too proud to do it firsts. Men usually don’t know how to behave in the answer and what to do, they may even get scared and push the woman away. And women are less prepared to hear “no” and can get deeply hurt by it. Just is you feel you’re unable to conceal your feelings no longer – declare them but mind that your object doesn’t get responsible for you after it.
If you can’t stay silent no more and want to declare your feelings whatever the reaction may follow still try to make in a way that will be the most acceptable for you both and won’t only push your object away.
Demonstrative personalities like loud and bright love declarations probably in public. It can be a heap of red roses, or huge inscription on the wall, serenades under the balcony. You may fall on your knees and read a love poem in a loud voice, you can glue your printed love declaration all around, you may appeal to people around telling her (or maybe him) about your feeling. If your object is really one of those people who like to demonstrate their relationships and feelings in public she/he will be impressed by your bravery, imagination and the strength of your feeling (although it’s said that only that one who doesn’t feel anything can speak about the love in the beautiful words). And if you don’t have the reciprocity yet such a declaration can be one step forward to it.
But in an object of your love is shy, modest or just reserved and doesn’t like to attract an extra-attention to his/her person this kind of a declaration won’t do and you may get a negative answer even if your object has some kind of a sympathy to you. Words of love said in privacy or whispered in the ear don’t loose any bit of their meaning and probably even gain some.
However you would declare your love be sincere, don’t try to impress or to take your object by surprise, don’t be too pushy, don’t ask for a definite answer at the same moment. Just let the one know that you differ him or her from the other people, that he/she means something special and serious for you.
Love declarations usually come naturally when two people are seeing each other for some time already and are quiet sure about the feelings of each other. Nobody gets prepared to declare his/her love to a partner. it usually comes all of a sudden, by some impulse or just by the way. And when couple has a long-lasting relationships everyday small signs of attention, care and support will say more than all love poems in the world, though such romantic love declarations are very nice either.
By the way if you are shy or can’t find the words to say about your love you can always do by any means of communication which are plenty today, though only after oral love declaration you can observe the very first reaction and expect the most sincere answer.
If you hear “no” in the an answer to the declaration of your feeling don’t loose your hope all at once (exception is when your object starts laughing in your face). You may ask him/her to stay friends, to meet sometimes for a coffee and a chat. Don’t complain, whine or get glued, be pleasant and try to keep some contact. Most people can’t stay completely indifferent to a person who has distinguished them from all other. The one who’s listened to your declaration can starts looking at you more attentively because you are the one who sees in him ore her some features of which the others probably have no idea. Who knows maybe later on this interest may turn to a sympathy or something more or otherwise you may study your object of love better, see it’s real face beyond your fantasies and start feeling a little less in love.
One more question about love declarations – who is supposed to do it first. Traditionally it’s men who declare their feelings first and it’s women who sigh out in answer a languid “yes”. Nowadays both men and women are free to speak about their love and feelings first. Of cause the traditions aren’t totally overcome in people’s mind. Women often are too shy or too proud to do it firsts. Men usually don’t know how to behave in the answer and what to do, they may even get scared and push the woman away. And women are less prepared to hear “no” and can get deeply hurt by it. Just is you feel you’re unable to conceal your feelings no longer – declare them but mind that your object doesn’t get responsible for you after it.
LOVE ADDICTION
The Ancient Greeks already described “mania” as one of the forms of love. It’s an obsessive, ecstatic and long-lasting love. It usually exaggerates the meaning and the importance of the feeling. Very often it leads to strong emotional shocks and dramas. It seeks for the total possession and control over partner, although it can be heroic and self-sacrificing. “Mania” stays very strong even when it has no reciprocity, it can be blindly faithful. Nowadays this form of love exists but in has become less dramatic.
Love addiction is when we say I love him/her too much, I can’t let him/her go, it’ when we are ready to suffer, see our love being abused but still ready to forgive everything because of a terrible fear to loose the one we love.
Some people get adducted to love as the other get addicted to drugs or alcohol. It’s when their partner becomes the centre and the meaning of their whole life, when his or life becomes their life and everything they turn to do is to satisfy their partner’s need and to solve his/her problem. Work, friends, hobbies, personal interests – nothing of that matter for a love addicted person more. And in the basics of it all lays not the love but the fear that can take it’s roots in early childhood when a future love addict didn’t get enough love and attention and now he/she’s trying to fill that space being very scared to return to that loneliness of a child.
In this “mania” relationships there’s very often nothing left to call love, these relationships don’t bring comfort, pleasure and support as they’re supposed to do, but only pain and sufferings. And love addicts may even realise it but the don’t have strength to leave. An addicted to love person is ready to do almost everything if it can be necessary or useful to his/her partner. There is nothing too expensive, unpleasant or taking too much time for it.
These love addicts can be very nervous and depressive, also they are willing to gain total control over the partner. The reason is that they aren’t enough self-confidence and those possessive relationship can be an attempt to prove they are worth something.
Most of all love addicts are scared that the relationship will be ruined because it seems that won’t be able to live without their partner so they are ready to bear selfishness, indifference, cruelty, disgrace. More other those possessed with love try to convince themselves that all this “minuses” are temporary and that their partner is just having hard time at the moment, but after it’s over he/she will se everything that has been done for them and will turn to be very thankful. Love addicts also may think thanks to their childhood that such sick relations with an indifferent partner is the only they are worth. They may ignore all the good people around them that are willing to give their love and attention.
By the way it’s women who suffer from love addiction more than men. Addictive men usually become obsessed with their job or hobby. The worst variant is drugs and alcohol. And the addictive women usually choose such men as a cross to berry.
The only way to get rid of such a love addiction is to fight all the fears and to quit that obsessive and destructive relationships, to prove yourself that you’re worth much more. Relationships are never supposed to be a one-way street, love is giving but normally it gets much in return. The problem is that the love addiction can be a very serious problem repeating from one relationships to the other so that a person isn’t even able to solve it without professional help.
Love addiction is when we say I love him/her too much, I can’t let him/her go, it’ when we are ready to suffer, see our love being abused but still ready to forgive everything because of a terrible fear to loose the one we love.
Some people get adducted to love as the other get addicted to drugs or alcohol. It’s when their partner becomes the centre and the meaning of their whole life, when his or life becomes their life and everything they turn to do is to satisfy their partner’s need and to solve his/her problem. Work, friends, hobbies, personal interests – nothing of that matter for a love addicted person more. And in the basics of it all lays not the love but the fear that can take it’s roots in early childhood when a future love addict didn’t get enough love and attention and now he/she’s trying to fill that space being very scared to return to that loneliness of a child.
In this “mania” relationships there’s very often nothing left to call love, these relationships don’t bring comfort, pleasure and support as they’re supposed to do, but only pain and sufferings. And love addicts may even realise it but the don’t have strength to leave. An addicted to love person is ready to do almost everything if it can be necessary or useful to his/her partner. There is nothing too expensive, unpleasant or taking too much time for it.
These love addicts can be very nervous and depressive, also they are willing to gain total control over the partner. The reason is that they aren’t enough self-confidence and those possessive relationship can be an attempt to prove they are worth something.
Most of all love addicts are scared that the relationship will be ruined because it seems that won’t be able to live without their partner so they are ready to bear selfishness, indifference, cruelty, disgrace. More other those possessed with love try to convince themselves that all this “minuses” are temporary and that their partner is just having hard time at the moment, but after it’s over he/she will se everything that has been done for them and will turn to be very thankful. Love addicts also may think thanks to their childhood that such sick relations with an indifferent partner is the only they are worth. They may ignore all the good people around them that are willing to give their love and attention.
By the way it’s women who suffer from love addiction more than men. Addictive men usually become obsessed with their job or hobby. The worst variant is drugs and alcohol. And the addictive women usually choose such men as a cross to berry.
The only way to get rid of such a love addiction is to fight all the fears and to quit that obsessive and destructive relationships, to prove yourself that you’re worth much more. Relationships are never supposed to be a one-way street, love is giving but normally it gets much in return. The problem is that the love addiction can be a very serious problem repeating from one relationships to the other so that a person isn’t even able to solve it without professional help.
WHEN TWO BECOMES ONE
You are no longer a couple, you are the one, you share one life and don’t divide it no longer in two. You don’t use the word “I” anymore, there’s only “We”. You belong to him and have no doubts that he belongs to you. So two become one...
When everything suddenly goes right, and all the problems seem so miserable that you don’t even have think now, since now you don’t have to worry about a thing at all.
When you are ready to give up all your life for him and you’re quite sure that he’ll never ask for that because he’s ready to do the same.
When you don’t have to talk to understand each other, and when one starts a phrase the other finishes it.
When you can talk about everything in the world and tell each other all the secrets you’ve ever had.
When it’s never better to sleep apart, but when you sleep in one bed it’s so difficult to fall asleep at all.
When you’re together you don’t let go each others hands not for a second.
When you start acting and thinking very similar, and suddenly find out that you both copy each other even in intonations.
When you look at the world around not only with yours but with his eyes at the same time, when you note around everything that could be interesting or useful for him.
When you tell one another the smallest impressions and can always count on total understanding.
When you see your future only with him and see no future without him.
When suddenly and fully understand the meaning of the word “family”.
When you’d rather stay alone than go anywhere without him but nobody doesn’t expect you to come alone anywhere at all.
When every moment is the right moment to call him, and when you feel when he’s is going to call you.
When you look at him the color of your eyes changes and in your turn you are sure that he won’t every look at anybody with those eyes he’s looking at you.
When you are apart the letters from each other come just on time, when you most expect them to come.
When you both have one past, share the same memories and built together the plans for future, when you are rewriting all the plans you had before he came so they could suit him too.
When you learn all his weak points to avoid pressing on them.
When you are beside him you never and nowhere feel out of place.
When you want to go around the world together and at the same time settle down somewhere, build a house, grow a garden and bring up kids together. And you will be making that house a home, keeping it warm, clean, nice so that he would always feel comfortable there.
When you want to take care of him all the times and always feel that care from his side.
When you want to support and help him and do everything, even impossible only to keep him happy.
When you both start doing things you’ve never done before and when you quit doing some things that you’ve been used to.
When you can let yourself be weak.
When you stop looking at the other man at all.
When you both become better day after day because you want to be the best for each other.
When everything you’re doing is right seems to him and when everything he’s doing seems right to you.
When you want every single day to last forever.
When you are never alone.
How can one make this fairytale last forever? Is it possible at all? How not to loose such a great love, not to let it efface itself among the worries of everyday life? These are the questions on which one should work for all his/her life.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
LOST LOVE
Every love affair has it’s lifetime. This that as long as it has a start it has a finish. Some relationships last to the end of partners lifetime, some die soon after they started.
Love may start as the strongest passion but time passes and the storm of emotions calms down, relationships once so bright and full of surprises become routine. It drags on for a while and than comes crisis. A couple can either survive through it or fall apart.
Even when the love is gone it’s always hard to realize that you have to quit something once so good. There’s no certain way to decrease the sad feelings about falling apart. You may only try to stay civilized people about it and to let the one who’s leaving do it without making up grandiose scandals and hysterics.
Although some think that it’s better to stay enemies than friends because than you will have nothing to regret about and won’t execute meaningless attempts to get things back. But is it so right to ruin all the memories about the happy time two people have spent together with ugly scenes screaming and blaming each other in the worst sins?
It’s over when it’s over and sometimes it’s obvious that all is over. Two people scream and shout one at the other almost everyday, they have nothing to talk about and if they do every conversation turns into a quarrel, one finds faults with everything the other does, they both simply annoy each other. That’s definitely the end.
The question is where the love’s gone. Nobody knows it. Maybe they’ve been spending too much time together and finally have started to bore each other. Maybe he has stopped telling her about his love and she has stopped feeling it. Maybe time has made the illusions disappear and the reality has turned to be not what they both expected. Maybe there was only passion and after it’s gone nothing has left. There can be plenty of those maybes. Every misfortune has it’s own face. It may even be that nothing is over but people need to take a little rest one from the other or try to diversify their relationships. In fact when each one of a couple is willing to fight to make love stay they’ll find the way to do it.
The real tragedy is when one still feels the love but the other is bored and wants to leave. If the feeling is really gone no tricks will help to keep the partner, sooner or later he or she will finally leave and those few more weeks together won’t make you happier. The only thing you can really do in this case is to try to get over him/her as soon as possible. That misery will pass as the happiness did.
Sometimes (and it specially refers to women) a man looses his interest to a woman because she has given up her job, interests, friends and etc. in order to become the part of his life, to be everything he needs. He doesn’t have to conquer her no more, she has stopped being a personality with her own life that he had once fallen in love with. If fact this is one of the general mistakes people do. They get too comfortable and stop fighting for each others love. And than when a partner starts packing bags they wonder where did I go wrong.
But still in very many cases lost love isn’t anyone’s fault. It is just the way things go. We should never stop believing that next time the feeling will be real and will finally last to the very end. We have no limit of times that we can fall in love and so although it’s sad to loose love, each time we do we should try to look at it as on the chance to find a new better one.
Love may start as the strongest passion but time passes and the storm of emotions calms down, relationships once so bright and full of surprises become routine. It drags on for a while and than comes crisis. A couple can either survive through it or fall apart.
Even when the love is gone it’s always hard to realize that you have to quit something once so good. There’s no certain way to decrease the sad feelings about falling apart. You may only try to stay civilized people about it and to let the one who’s leaving do it without making up grandiose scandals and hysterics.
Although some think that it’s better to stay enemies than friends because than you will have nothing to regret about and won’t execute meaningless attempts to get things back. But is it so right to ruin all the memories about the happy time two people have spent together with ugly scenes screaming and blaming each other in the worst sins?
It’s over when it’s over and sometimes it’s obvious that all is over. Two people scream and shout one at the other almost everyday, they have nothing to talk about and if they do every conversation turns into a quarrel, one finds faults with everything the other does, they both simply annoy each other. That’s definitely the end.
The question is where the love’s gone. Nobody knows it. Maybe they’ve been spending too much time together and finally have started to bore each other. Maybe he has stopped telling her about his love and she has stopped feeling it. Maybe time has made the illusions disappear and the reality has turned to be not what they both expected. Maybe there was only passion and after it’s gone nothing has left. There can be plenty of those maybes. Every misfortune has it’s own face. It may even be that nothing is over but people need to take a little rest one from the other or try to diversify their relationships. In fact when each one of a couple is willing to fight to make love stay they’ll find the way to do it.
The real tragedy is when one still feels the love but the other is bored and wants to leave. If the feeling is really gone no tricks will help to keep the partner, sooner or later he or she will finally leave and those few more weeks together won’t make you happier. The only thing you can really do in this case is to try to get over him/her as soon as possible. That misery will pass as the happiness did.
Sometimes (and it specially refers to women) a man looses his interest to a woman because she has given up her job, interests, friends and etc. in order to become the part of his life, to be everything he needs. He doesn’t have to conquer her no more, she has stopped being a personality with her own life that he had once fallen in love with. If fact this is one of the general mistakes people do. They get too comfortable and stop fighting for each others love. And than when a partner starts packing bags they wonder where did I go wrong.
But still in very many cases lost love isn’t anyone’s fault. It is just the way things go. We should never stop believing that next time the feeling will be real and will finally last to the very end. We have no limit of times that we can fall in love and so although it’s sad to loose love, each time we do we should try to look at it as on the chance to find a new better one.
LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT
Do you believe in love at first sight? Scientists study our brain activity and say that it’s quiet possible but everyone is free to believe or not to believe.
Some people claim that it happened to them and it was like you raise your head, meet those eyes and tell yourself “It is He/She!”. Psychologists say that love at first sight depends on our psychological state at the moment. In some case we won’t even notice those charming eyes in another they can make a lasting impression on as. Also they say that it takes about 30 seconds to fall in love or precisely speaking to estimate whether the person is worth to fall in love with. By the way psychologists claim that men fall in love first.
Very many factors act in the situation of falling in love from the first sight. These are our ideals, intuition or “fast logic”, imagination etc. When you fall in love at the first sight you are usually ready and willing to fall in love. Less possibility that it will happen if you are tired, stressed, solving problems in you mind. Of cause the main part in falling in love is given to the appearance, voice, gestures, smell. One person intuitively searches in the other the qualities and the feature to complete him/herself. Of causes beautiful people attract attention the most, but sometimes it’s wrong to fall in love with them easily because those people are experiencing much attention from the people of the other sex all the time and your delightful reaction may simply have no answers.
But if you suddenly fall in love with quiet unknown person and see that it’s mutual that may mean even that mother-nature has chosen a partner that genetically suits you a lot. In this case it is like “aha, match!” when someone happens to fill up all the necessary categories like “tall, blond, blue-eyed, looks good, has a style and nice manners, likes me”.
Still the cases when people really had fallen in love from the first sight and lived long and happily after that are rather it. You may dream of a beautiful stranger that waits for you just around the corner but it’s wrong to name every slight sympathy and interest to a person the love at first sight. Maybe you’re just a little tired of everything that surrounds you or trying to fill the emptiness inside, yet it doesn’t mean everyone who looks nice will do. Sometimes it takes patience and time to find out the true nature of your feelings, mind that wonders do happen but not as often as we would like them too. If you suddenly have felt the wings behind you back still try to keep your feet on the ground because if it’s really love at first sight nothing will happen to it but if you’re taking illusions for reality falling back on the ground can be really hurtful.
By the way some theories say that we fall in love not from the first sight but from the first smell. Scientist claim that we pay much attention to what our eyes and ears tell us but on the subconscious level the way the person smells play a very big part in his or her expression on us although we don’t recognize it.
Some people claim that it happened to them and it was like you raise your head, meet those eyes and tell yourself “It is He/She!”. Psychologists say that love at first sight depends on our psychological state at the moment. In some case we won’t even notice those charming eyes in another they can make a lasting impression on as. Also they say that it takes about 30 seconds to fall in love or precisely speaking to estimate whether the person is worth to fall in love with. By the way psychologists claim that men fall in love first.
Very many factors act in the situation of falling in love from the first sight. These are our ideals, intuition or “fast logic”, imagination etc. When you fall in love at the first sight you are usually ready and willing to fall in love. Less possibility that it will happen if you are tired, stressed, solving problems in you mind. Of cause the main part in falling in love is given to the appearance, voice, gestures, smell. One person intuitively searches in the other the qualities and the feature to complete him/herself. Of causes beautiful people attract attention the most, but sometimes it’s wrong to fall in love with them easily because those people are experiencing much attention from the people of the other sex all the time and your delightful reaction may simply have no answers.
But if you suddenly fall in love with quiet unknown person and see that it’s mutual that may mean even that mother-nature has chosen a partner that genetically suits you a lot. In this case it is like “aha, match!” when someone happens to fill up all the necessary categories like “tall, blond, blue-eyed, looks good, has a style and nice manners, likes me”.
Still the cases when people really had fallen in love from the first sight and lived long and happily after that are rather it. You may dream of a beautiful stranger that waits for you just around the corner but it’s wrong to name every slight sympathy and interest to a person the love at first sight. Maybe you’re just a little tired of everything that surrounds you or trying to fill the emptiness inside, yet it doesn’t mean everyone who looks nice will do. Sometimes it takes patience and time to find out the true nature of your feelings, mind that wonders do happen but not as often as we would like them too. If you suddenly have felt the wings behind you back still try to keep your feet on the ground because if it’s really love at first sight nothing will happen to it but if you’re taking illusions for reality falling back on the ground can be really hurtful.
By the way some theories say that we fall in love not from the first sight but from the first smell. Scientist claim that we pay much attention to what our eyes and ears tell us but on the subconscious level the way the person smells play a very big part in his or her expression on us although we don’t recognize it.
FIRST LOVE
Theoretically first love can happen in any age or not happen at all. But most people had fallen in love for the first time when they were teenagers. That exciting new experience most of us remember very well during all our life. For an adult his/her own high school problems and the problems of their children seem very funny, silly and simple especially compared with all the difficulties of adult life. Somehow we forget how tragic and full of drama life and relationships were than in our adolescence.
Than a teenager falls in love and it happens for the first time he/she feels all it’s ups and downs for the first time either. In that age we mostly enjoy ourselves and study the new emotions inside than show much interest for the inner world of our first boy/girlfriend.
Once we start to show interest to the persons of the other sex and a little later instinctively choose our first love. The relationships between two sexes will interest and trouble us during all our future life but these first steps are always the most difficult and for some of us turn to be very painful. Teenager has a growing and changing body that he/she hasn’t started to understand yet and a delicate soul which is so easy to hurt.
Adults very often don’t take this first affection for serious, they may laugh at it, preach, tell their children that they are too young to really feel anything, that his or her object isn’t a good pair for him or her, they may try obey them stop seeing their boy/girlfriend. This is all very wrong. No one can stop anybody from falling in love especially when it’s so beckoning with the novelty.
Wise adults can only try to support their young comrade to pass this complicated with the least wounds and hurt. The feelings of adolescents are as changeable as their mood. So the first love usually goes very soon after it comes. The mission of people around is to show that it’s not the end of world and that a teenager is not alone, that there still stay people who love him/her and in their love he/her can’t be sure. The first love is only the first lesson to learn but it like Alphabet stays in the basic of the whole future relationships of a human.
Very often we cherish these memories a lot, sometimes idealise them, remember the first love as something very innocent and fragile. If something went wrong than some people may have some problems with starting new relationships, they may even achieve come serious complexes that will be spoiling their relationships all the time.
But there’s no such low that tells we all fall in love for the first time in our adolescence if not with our coevals, than with our favourite teaches, famous actors and pop-stars. Yes, teenagers searching an ideal love object in the real life and not finding it there can turn to TV-screen heroes, or persons who are elder and seem wiser and more experienced when the people of the same with them age. Of cause most adults don’t take these kid’s falling for them too serious. It passes as does the hysterical passion for the pop-stars. But still some people don’t fall in love at this age of first love at all, they have some boy/girlfriends in order not to differ from others, to satisfy curiosity and a booty call, they may really like the coevals they have relationships with, but still it nothing serious. For those people their first love may come later, and the feeling will be the same new and surprising for them as for the teenagers. But Bernard Show said that if you haven’t fallen in love till you’re forty you already shouldn’t do it after.
Than a teenager falls in love and it happens for the first time he/she feels all it’s ups and downs for the first time either. In that age we mostly enjoy ourselves and study the new emotions inside than show much interest for the inner world of our first boy/girlfriend.
Once we start to show interest to the persons of the other sex and a little later instinctively choose our first love. The relationships between two sexes will interest and trouble us during all our future life but these first steps are always the most difficult and for some of us turn to be very painful. Teenager has a growing and changing body that he/she hasn’t started to understand yet and a delicate soul which is so easy to hurt.
Adults very often don’t take this first affection for serious, they may laugh at it, preach, tell their children that they are too young to really feel anything, that his or her object isn’t a good pair for him or her, they may try obey them stop seeing their boy/girlfriend. This is all very wrong. No one can stop anybody from falling in love especially when it’s so beckoning with the novelty.
Wise adults can only try to support their young comrade to pass this complicated with the least wounds and hurt. The feelings of adolescents are as changeable as their mood. So the first love usually goes very soon after it comes. The mission of people around is to show that it’s not the end of world and that a teenager is not alone, that there still stay people who love him/her and in their love he/her can’t be sure. The first love is only the first lesson to learn but it like Alphabet stays in the basic of the whole future relationships of a human.
Very often we cherish these memories a lot, sometimes idealise them, remember the first love as something very innocent and fragile. If something went wrong than some people may have some problems with starting new relationships, they may even achieve come serious complexes that will be spoiling their relationships all the time.
But there’s no such low that tells we all fall in love for the first time in our adolescence if not with our coevals, than with our favourite teaches, famous actors and pop-stars. Yes, teenagers searching an ideal love object in the real life and not finding it there can turn to TV-screen heroes, or persons who are elder and seem wiser and more experienced when the people of the same with them age. Of cause most adults don’t take these kid’s falling for them too serious. It passes as does the hysterical passion for the pop-stars. But still some people don’t fall in love at this age of first love at all, they have some boy/girlfriends in order not to differ from others, to satisfy curiosity and a booty call, they may really like the coevals they have relationships with, but still it nothing serious. For those people their first love may come later, and the feeling will be the same new and surprising for them as for the teenagers. But Bernard Show said that if you haven’t fallen in love till you’re forty you already shouldn’t do it after.
LOVE RELATIONSHIPS
There are many different types of relationships that connect people, it can be business relations, friendly relations, relative relations, neighbour relations and etc. The love relationships are the most complicated, most troublesome and most pleasant ones.
Different people pass a longer or a shorter way from the beginning to the end of love. Every couple would like that they are the unique ones, and of cause the love relationships between different people are very different too but still couple has something in common. and people who have had a few lasting relationships would agree with that.
Everything starts when a man and a woman get interested in each other, they fall in love, start seeing each other. Every new romantic date brings something new and exciting, they learn more and more about each other, but still see mostly positive side and don’t pay much attention to the flows of each other. With every single meeting they fall more and more one into another, call every hour just to say how are you. Their souls are filled with the strongest and brightest emotions, their eyes see the world in the pink colour, their mind is blacked out. By that first time love gives them the wings to fly, the strength to do very crazy things and the will to conquer the world and to lay at the feet of their lover.
This happy and charming period beginning of love relationships has been inspiring poets, painters and other artists to create their best works. By this time the most gloomy sceptics turn into dreamer and romantics.
Some people even get married in this period. And many of these marriages are rather happy because by this time lovers listen only to their hearts and intuition and yet don’t let mind with it’s logic and blurred ideals, parents, friends and etc get in the way. The only thing lovers know than is that they want to fall asleep in the arms of each over and the first thing they want to in the morning is the faces of one another.
After a while the euphoria calms down, the feelings still stay deep but much more calm and stable. Lovers take off the pink ribbon from the eyes and start seeing each other as they are for real. And if the intuition and heart hasn’t deceased them they still like what they see although the picture is a little bit different and not so flawless.
Lovers turn to be not only the best and the only one for another but they become the real friends trustful and understanding, the first they can turn to in any trouble, always ready to listen and to help. By the way not very many couples have that real friendship and more over that faithfulness. People having short and light love affairs usually understand them as some kind of entertainment and let their partner only into some small part of their lives. But when speaking of love relationships in which the true deep feelings are involved the situation is quiet different.
The stable and happy relationships of this period can last for a few years. Most people get married or start living together by that time and if they do this love relationships can become than one true love of a life. If something gets in the way and it doesn’t happen or people still continue only going out with each other – the relations slowly start to fade.
The sparkles of the initial feeling between them become more and more rare, they don’t work on the relationships anymore, thinking this comfortable state will last forever. Lovers don’t find it necessary to show and prove their feelings over and over again staying sure that everything possible is already said and done. They become more and more lazy in their love, another interests and even people start playing the main role in their lives. It all takes time, this situation develops little by little. And them one day you one partner finds out that he/she’s too tired to go out on a date this evening. Love isn’t gone yet but no one expects anything surprises or wonder from it so one more evening without the partner won’t change anything. And once of the lovers will raise the head and suddenly see that there’s nothing left to call love.
This is what can be said in general about the way the love relationships go (mind that it all doesn’t refer to the relationships based on sexual attraction, obsession or any self-interest; it’s all about the way love goes). Every couple has something special about them but still there are some problems, questions and choices that neither of them can avoid.
Different people pass a longer or a shorter way from the beginning to the end of love. Every couple would like that they are the unique ones, and of cause the love relationships between different people are very different too but still couple has something in common. and people who have had a few lasting relationships would agree with that.
Everything starts when a man and a woman get interested in each other, they fall in love, start seeing each other. Every new romantic date brings something new and exciting, they learn more and more about each other, but still see mostly positive side and don’t pay much attention to the flows of each other. With every single meeting they fall more and more one into another, call every hour just to say how are you. Their souls are filled with the strongest and brightest emotions, their eyes see the world in the pink colour, their mind is blacked out. By that first time love gives them the wings to fly, the strength to do very crazy things and the will to conquer the world and to lay at the feet of their lover.
This happy and charming period beginning of love relationships has been inspiring poets, painters and other artists to create their best works. By this time the most gloomy sceptics turn into dreamer and romantics.
Some people even get married in this period. And many of these marriages are rather happy because by this time lovers listen only to their hearts and intuition and yet don’t let mind with it’s logic and blurred ideals, parents, friends and etc get in the way. The only thing lovers know than is that they want to fall asleep in the arms of each over and the first thing they want to in the morning is the faces of one another.
After a while the euphoria calms down, the feelings still stay deep but much more calm and stable. Lovers take off the pink ribbon from the eyes and start seeing each other as they are for real. And if the intuition and heart hasn’t deceased them they still like what they see although the picture is a little bit different and not so flawless.
Lovers turn to be not only the best and the only one for another but they become the real friends trustful and understanding, the first they can turn to in any trouble, always ready to listen and to help. By the way not very many couples have that real friendship and more over that faithfulness. People having short and light love affairs usually understand them as some kind of entertainment and let their partner only into some small part of their lives. But when speaking of love relationships in which the true deep feelings are involved the situation is quiet different.
The stable and happy relationships of this period can last for a few years. Most people get married or start living together by that time and if they do this love relationships can become than one true love of a life. If something gets in the way and it doesn’t happen or people still continue only going out with each other – the relations slowly start to fade.
The sparkles of the initial feeling between them become more and more rare, they don’t work on the relationships anymore, thinking this comfortable state will last forever. Lovers don’t find it necessary to show and prove their feelings over and over again staying sure that everything possible is already said and done. They become more and more lazy in their love, another interests and even people start playing the main role in their lives. It all takes time, this situation develops little by little. And them one day you one partner finds out that he/she’s too tired to go out on a date this evening. Love isn’t gone yet but no one expects anything surprises or wonder from it so one more evening without the partner won’t change anything. And once of the lovers will raise the head and suddenly see that there’s nothing left to call love.
This is what can be said in general about the way the love relationships go (mind that it all doesn’t refer to the relationships based on sexual attraction, obsession or any self-interest; it’s all about the way love goes). Every couple has something special about them but still there are some problems, questions and choices that neither of them can avoid.
PEOPLE AND RELATIONSHIPS
Relationship is defined as a state of connectedness between people. Although in today’s society with its crazy rhythm of everyday life, when people tend to live in densely populated megapolises, spending most of their time in the office and hardly knowing their neighbor’s name, we still find ourselves in some kind of a relationship – with friends, family, or colleagues.
Family relationships are the first people’s relationships to enter into. Parents and relatives influence our emotional development by creating a model that we are sometimes bound to follow all our life, often subconsciously. People who have grown up in large happy families usually feel more emotionally secure than those, whose parents had gone through a divorce. For sure you know quite a few attractive and successful women who remain single for some ‘mysterious’ reason. They often turn out to be victims of their past. Deep inside they cannot overcome the fear of being abandoned, that comes from their childhood, when one or both of their parents left them or just did not pay enough attention. A well-established young man can be scared of a commitment in a relationship as his parents’ family model failed to convince him that getting married makes one happy.
In daycare, at school, then in the office we spend a lot of time among fellow students and coworkers. We learn to maintain business relationships, to work in a team environment, then form smaller groups of like-minded people and finally select some of them as our friends.
What is a true friendship? How does it start? Are we destined to become friends with certain people or can we actually plan whom to be friends with?
“Everybody's friend is nobody's”, said Arthur Schopenhauer. Unlike a companionship based on belonging to the same team or group, friendship is a very personal and selective type of people’s relationships. It calls for trust, sincerity, and emotional bonds. It’s not without reason that we call our friends our alter ego.
Sociologists believe that most of the people are looking for similarity of views, social status, and interests when choosing friends. No wonder that our friends are often people of the same age, sex, and education. Another important factor is joint activity and solidarity. This is the reason why many of us befriend their colleagues and people who work in the same field.
Another underestimated common prerequisite for friendship is geographical proximity. If our friends move out of town or overseas, it is a very common reason why friendship falls apart. Maintaining a long distance friendship is a challenge, and not many of us pass this test.
Most people would agree that a friend is someone who would always listen and understand. “Understanding” in this context implies a lot of meanings – compassion, sympathy, and emotional closeness. It’s a process when your friend deciphers your emotional state, shares your feelings, identifies himself/herself with you. “Friendship is like money, easier made than kept”, said Samuel Butler. To maintain friendship we have to make an effort. Friendship can be time consuming and might require some sacrifice from our part – staying up all night comforting a girlfriend after a hard breakup, canceling you hairdresser’s appointment to babysit your friends’ kids, or taking care of someone’s pets. But friendship rewards us with a warm feeling of being there for someone, being important, being part of someone’s life.
The number of single people is growing every day, making modern psychologists question the need for a serious relationship between men and women. People are getting more and more self-sufficient and don’t seem to need a life partner any longer. Now, when successful career and professional self-realization have become priority for fresh graduates, when taking maternity leave will take away your chances of ever catching up with your more successful and commitment-free coworkers, most people tend to delay settling down or even moving in with someone until their late thirties. And by this time many of them are so much used to living independently, that they find a mere thought of living with someone or considering any kind of commitment repulsive. “I am not a marrying type. I am missing the bride gene”, says Carrie Bradshow in the “Sex and the City”, who has become a role model for many single women around the world.
It’s a reality we have to acknowledge – people become more and more alienated, introverted and scared of getting closer to each other. Does it seem familiar? Each gender is trying to make con¬tact with the other side, but is becoming trapped and confused in the process. Like a beast who has come too close to a hot-wired electric fence, we've seen both men and women jump back and retreat from the oppo¬site sex, because they are afraid of risking the potential pain of rejection. So they keep their distance.
However, psychological studies reveal that people who manage to maintain healthy relationships really have more happiness and less stress. There are simple ways to make relationships healthy, even though each one is different… boyfriends, girlfriends, parents, siblings, friends, colleagues, professors, roommates, and classmates.
Here are some tips to keep any kind of people’s relationships healthy:
• Accept people as they are and don’t try to change them.
• Be yourself. Healthy relationships are made of real people, not images!
• Talk with each other and genuinely listen.
• Be reliable – keep your promises, meet deadlines
• Don’t criticize. Avoid blaming the other person for your thoughts and feelings.
• Admit mistakes and say ‘sorry’ when you are wrong
Family relationships are the first people’s relationships to enter into. Parents and relatives influence our emotional development by creating a model that we are sometimes bound to follow all our life, often subconsciously. People who have grown up in large happy families usually feel more emotionally secure than those, whose parents had gone through a divorce. For sure you know quite a few attractive and successful women who remain single for some ‘mysterious’ reason. They often turn out to be victims of their past. Deep inside they cannot overcome the fear of being abandoned, that comes from their childhood, when one or both of their parents left them or just did not pay enough attention. A well-established young man can be scared of a commitment in a relationship as his parents’ family model failed to convince him that getting married makes one happy.
In daycare, at school, then in the office we spend a lot of time among fellow students and coworkers. We learn to maintain business relationships, to work in a team environment, then form smaller groups of like-minded people and finally select some of them as our friends.
What is a true friendship? How does it start? Are we destined to become friends with certain people or can we actually plan whom to be friends with?
“Everybody's friend is nobody's”, said Arthur Schopenhauer. Unlike a companionship based on belonging to the same team or group, friendship is a very personal and selective type of people’s relationships. It calls for trust, sincerity, and emotional bonds. It’s not without reason that we call our friends our alter ego.
Sociologists believe that most of the people are looking for similarity of views, social status, and interests when choosing friends. No wonder that our friends are often people of the same age, sex, and education. Another important factor is joint activity and solidarity. This is the reason why many of us befriend their colleagues and people who work in the same field.
Another underestimated common prerequisite for friendship is geographical proximity. If our friends move out of town or overseas, it is a very common reason why friendship falls apart. Maintaining a long distance friendship is a challenge, and not many of us pass this test.
Most people would agree that a friend is someone who would always listen and understand. “Understanding” in this context implies a lot of meanings – compassion, sympathy, and emotional closeness. It’s a process when your friend deciphers your emotional state, shares your feelings, identifies himself/herself with you. “Friendship is like money, easier made than kept”, said Samuel Butler. To maintain friendship we have to make an effort. Friendship can be time consuming and might require some sacrifice from our part – staying up all night comforting a girlfriend after a hard breakup, canceling you hairdresser’s appointment to babysit your friends’ kids, or taking care of someone’s pets. But friendship rewards us with a warm feeling of being there for someone, being important, being part of someone’s life.
The number of single people is growing every day, making modern psychologists question the need for a serious relationship between men and women. People are getting more and more self-sufficient and don’t seem to need a life partner any longer. Now, when successful career and professional self-realization have become priority for fresh graduates, when taking maternity leave will take away your chances of ever catching up with your more successful and commitment-free coworkers, most people tend to delay settling down or even moving in with someone until their late thirties. And by this time many of them are so much used to living independently, that they find a mere thought of living with someone or considering any kind of commitment repulsive. “I am not a marrying type. I am missing the bride gene”, says Carrie Bradshow in the “Sex and the City”, who has become a role model for many single women around the world.
It’s a reality we have to acknowledge – people become more and more alienated, introverted and scared of getting closer to each other. Does it seem familiar? Each gender is trying to make con¬tact with the other side, but is becoming trapped and confused in the process. Like a beast who has come too close to a hot-wired electric fence, we've seen both men and women jump back and retreat from the oppo¬site sex, because they are afraid of risking the potential pain of rejection. So they keep their distance.
However, psychological studies reveal that people who manage to maintain healthy relationships really have more happiness and less stress. There are simple ways to make relationships healthy, even though each one is different… boyfriends, girlfriends, parents, siblings, friends, colleagues, professors, roommates, and classmates.
Here are some tips to keep any kind of people’s relationships healthy:
• Accept people as they are and don’t try to change them.
• Be yourself. Healthy relationships are made of real people, not images!
• Talk with each other and genuinely listen.
• Be reliable – keep your promises, meet deadlines
• Don’t criticize. Avoid blaming the other person for your thoughts and feelings.
• Admit mistakes and say ‘sorry’ when you are wrong
FALLING IN LOVE
Falling in love and love are two quiet different feeling. Falling in love can be either a flash of emotions or a first step towards love.
Falling in love is a strong instinctive attraction to the person of the other sex. In case it’s mutual and both lovers will work at their relationships one day that feeling can grow into love. Falling in love is crazy, it very physical, it’s when knees are getting weak and temperature rises, love is calm, comfortable and mental.
You have to do nothing to fall in love and often there’s either nothing you can do to stop falling in love. It’s very illogical: you suffer from splashes of emotions, doubts, can’t fully control yourself and it’s all because of a person you usually almost don’t know. When we fall in love nature shows all it’s power on us. Sometimes it even goes against our sense when we understand that we can’t expect nothing good from these relationships that it’s the wrong person but still can do nothing about ourselves.
Falling in love is the call of our sex but the object is instinctually chosen according to our ideals, dreams and etc although we may not realize it. We usually fall in love with the appearance of the person, with the way he/she walks, the way he/she talks. Sometimes we impute to our object of love some illusional, ideal qualities and the more we get to know that that person the less we fall for him or her. That’s when the feeling disappears eve faster than it appeared.
The more two persons get to know each other, the more comfortable they get the less sharp, bright and exciting the feeling gets. Some couples continue their relationships and get married in the end some fall apart. It’s reasonable to say that a second pair of slippers by the bed and one more toothbrush in the bathroom is the end of that crazy falling in love but it also can be the beginning of something more serious.
Different people fall in love more or less often than other. Some are switching partners enjoying crazy emotions which never turn with them into a real love.
Some may fall in love for a short time while having some permanent partner they love, this can even ruin some stable relationships. Some can claim to be in love with two people at the same time. These are usually two very different people so that one can’t choose which type is better but can neither afford to take both. In the center of love there’s always only one person.
We may call falling in love some kind of a temporary illness both mental and physical and won’t be very wrong. Some will say that it’s destructive, selfish, possessive, blind and give falling in love many other unpleasant definitions. But have those people ever been in love? Because if they have they would know that it differs from any other illness in on very essential way – it can be very pleasant. People nowadays often turn to antidepressants and drugs because it makes them feel better in the first case and makes them high in the second.
Falling in love is the most natural and the least harmless kind of doping. Yes, it’s not mural, it never looks in the future, in fact it has no future but it gives life some spirit of freshness and youthfulness.
Falling in love is a strong instinctive attraction to the person of the other sex. In case it’s mutual and both lovers will work at their relationships one day that feeling can grow into love. Falling in love is crazy, it very physical, it’s when knees are getting weak and temperature rises, love is calm, comfortable and mental.
You have to do nothing to fall in love and often there’s either nothing you can do to stop falling in love. It’s very illogical: you suffer from splashes of emotions, doubts, can’t fully control yourself and it’s all because of a person you usually almost don’t know. When we fall in love nature shows all it’s power on us. Sometimes it even goes against our sense when we understand that we can’t expect nothing good from these relationships that it’s the wrong person but still can do nothing about ourselves.
Falling in love is the call of our sex but the object is instinctually chosen according to our ideals, dreams and etc although we may not realize it. We usually fall in love with the appearance of the person, with the way he/she walks, the way he/she talks. Sometimes we impute to our object of love some illusional, ideal qualities and the more we get to know that that person the less we fall for him or her. That’s when the feeling disappears eve faster than it appeared.
The more two persons get to know each other, the more comfortable they get the less sharp, bright and exciting the feeling gets. Some couples continue their relationships and get married in the end some fall apart. It’s reasonable to say that a second pair of slippers by the bed and one more toothbrush in the bathroom is the end of that crazy falling in love but it also can be the beginning of something more serious.
Different people fall in love more or less often than other. Some are switching partners enjoying crazy emotions which never turn with them into a real love.
Some may fall in love for a short time while having some permanent partner they love, this can even ruin some stable relationships. Some can claim to be in love with two people at the same time. These are usually two very different people so that one can’t choose which type is better but can neither afford to take both. In the center of love there’s always only one person.
We may call falling in love some kind of a temporary illness both mental and physical and won’t be very wrong. Some will say that it’s destructive, selfish, possessive, blind and give falling in love many other unpleasant definitions. But have those people ever been in love? Because if they have they would know that it differs from any other illness in on very essential way – it can be very pleasant. People nowadays often turn to antidepressants and drugs because it makes them feel better in the first case and makes them high in the second.
Falling in love is the most natural and the least harmless kind of doping. Yes, it’s not mural, it never looks in the future, in fact it has no future but it gives life some spirit of freshness and youthfulness.
Saturday, July 14, 2007
ROMANTIC IDEAS
Surprise her with her favorite flower whether it be a dozen roses or some other type.
Send a romantic e-card.
Give a back rub or massage Give a card "just because" Take a bubble bath together by candlelight.
Fill his/her apartment, car, work place etc.. with flowers or gifts.
Snuggle together before you go to sleep Give him/her some loving coupons entitling them to a free meal, hug, etc..
Make it a point to call them during the day just to say "I love you".
Take a walk together in the moonlight
. Write a love letter, cut it into pieces like a jigsaw puzzle and give a piece a day until it is all complete.
Create a scrapbook of little tokens that you have kept while you have been together, such as: Theatre tickets, photos, wine corks, etc..
Get out of bed early, cook breakfast and deliver it in bed.
Write a love poem.
Leave love notes in places where you know your love will eventually find them such as in his glove compartment, under the pillow.
Make it a point to tell your loved one "I love you" each day.
Spend the weekend at a swanky hotel.
Take a carriage ride around your home town.
Build your loved one a web-page.
Give them a gift that they have always wanted.
Buy them a personalised teddy bear with "I love you" on it.
Rent a romantic movie, and snuggle up for the night in front of the box.
Compliment your lover at least once each day.
Watch the sunset at the beach, or some other romantic place.
Stay up all night and watch the sunrise.
Make your lover a card "just because".
Go to a coffee shop, enjoy a cup of coffee or tea and just enjoy each other's company.
Share a plate of spaghetti.
Listen without interrupting when they are talking.
Send a bouquet of flowers to their work place to make them feel extra special in front of their colleugues Spend one week without the TV you will be suprised at how much time you spend together and how much you will enjoy each others company.
Exchange keys to each other's cars and homes. T
ake a day off and spend it in bed.
Cook her a romantic meal for two.
Do something that you both enjoy together, whether it be ice-skating, going to the movies or what ever as long as you spend at least an afternoon doing it.
Do something different each day to add excitement and mystery to your relationship.
Dedicate their favorite song on the radio when you know they will be driving home from work.
Surprise your love by doing the dishes, laundry, etc.
Buy tickets to their favorite event.
Go back to the place where you had your first date.
Fly a kite.
Yes I said fly a kite.
This isn`t just for kids you will be hooked.
Get a local directory of your area and spend the day visiting interesting places that you have yet to discover.
Write them a love note and pack it in their lunch box.
Give Hershey Kisses with a note attached saying they can be exchanged for real kisses.
Celebrate your Anniversary every month instead of just once a year.
Turn the bedroom into a love nest with candles and fresh flowers.
Turn up unexpectedly at their work place to walk them home.
Scatter rose petals all over the bed with an expensive bottle of perfume in the middle of them.
Make one day a week your day filled with romance and make it different each week.
Send a romantic e-card.
Give a back rub or massage Give a card "just because" Take a bubble bath together by candlelight.
Fill his/her apartment, car, work place etc.. with flowers or gifts.
Snuggle together before you go to sleep Give him/her some loving coupons entitling them to a free meal, hug, etc..
Make it a point to call them during the day just to say "I love you".
Take a walk together in the moonlight
. Write a love letter, cut it into pieces like a jigsaw puzzle and give a piece a day until it is all complete.
Create a scrapbook of little tokens that you have kept while you have been together, such as: Theatre tickets, photos, wine corks, etc..
Get out of bed early, cook breakfast and deliver it in bed.
Write a love poem.
Leave love notes in places where you know your love will eventually find them such as in his glove compartment, under the pillow.
Make it a point to tell your loved one "I love you" each day.
Spend the weekend at a swanky hotel.
Take a carriage ride around your home town.
Build your loved one a web-page.
Give them a gift that they have always wanted.
Buy them a personalised teddy bear with "I love you" on it.
Rent a romantic movie, and snuggle up for the night in front of the box.
Compliment your lover at least once each day.
Watch the sunset at the beach, or some other romantic place.
Stay up all night and watch the sunrise.
Make your lover a card "just because".
Go to a coffee shop, enjoy a cup of coffee or tea and just enjoy each other's company.
Share a plate of spaghetti.
Listen without interrupting when they are talking.
Send a bouquet of flowers to their work place to make them feel extra special in front of their colleugues Spend one week without the TV you will be suprised at how much time you spend together and how much you will enjoy each others company.
Exchange keys to each other's cars and homes. T
ake a day off and spend it in bed.
Cook her a romantic meal for two.
Do something that you both enjoy together, whether it be ice-skating, going to the movies or what ever as long as you spend at least an afternoon doing it.
Do something different each day to add excitement and mystery to your relationship.
Dedicate their favorite song on the radio when you know they will be driving home from work.
Surprise your love by doing the dishes, laundry, etc.
Buy tickets to their favorite event.
Go back to the place where you had your first date.
Fly a kite.
Yes I said fly a kite.
This isn`t just for kids you will be hooked.
Get a local directory of your area and spend the day visiting interesting places that you have yet to discover.
Write them a love note and pack it in their lunch box.
Give Hershey Kisses with a note attached saying they can be exchanged for real kisses.
Celebrate your Anniversary every month instead of just once a year.
Turn the bedroom into a love nest with candles and fresh flowers.
Turn up unexpectedly at their work place to walk them home.
Scatter rose petals all over the bed with an expensive bottle of perfume in the middle of them.
Make one day a week your day filled with romance and make it different each week.
I LOVE YOU IN 100 LANGUAGES
English - I love you
Afrikaans - Ek het jou lief
Albanian - Te dua
Arabic - Ana behibak (to male)
Arabic - Ana behibek (to female)
Armenian - Yes kez sirumen
Bambara - M'bi fe
Bangla - Aamee tuma ke bhalo aashi
Belarusian - Ya tabe kahayu
Bisaya - Nahigugma ako kanimo
Bulgarian - Obicham te
Cambodian - Soro lahn nhee ah
Cantonese Chinese - Ngo oiy ney a
Catalan - T'estimo
Cheyenne - Ne mohotatse
Chichewa - Ndimakukonda
Corsican - Ti tengu caru (to male)
Creol - Mi aime jou
Croatian - Volim te
Czech - Miluji te
Danish - Jeg Elsker Dig
Dutch - Ik hou van jou
Esperanto - Mi amas vin
Estonian - Ma armastan sind
Ethiopian - Afgreki'
Faroese - Eg elski teg
Farsi - Doset daram
Filipino - Mahal kita
Finnish - Mina rakastan sinua
French - Je t'aime, Je t'adore
Gaelic - Ta gra agam ort
Georgian - Mikvarhar
German - Ich liebe dich
Greek - S'agapo
Gujarati - Hoo thunay prem karoo choo
Hiligaynon - Palangga ko ikaw
Hawaiian - Aloha wau ia oi
Hebrew - Ani ohev otah (to female)
Hebrew - Ani ohev et otha (to male)
Hiligaynon - Guina higugma ko ikaw
Hindi - Hum Tumhe Pyar Karte hae
Hmong - Kuv hlub koj
Hopi - Nu' umi unangwa'ta
Hungarian - Szeretlek
Icelandic - Eg elska tig
Ilonggo - Palangga ko ikaw
Indonesian - Saya cinta padamu
Inuit - Negligevapse
Irish - Taim i' ngra leat
Italian - Ti amo
Japanese - Aishiteru
Kannada - Naanu ninna preetisuttene
Kapampangan - Kaluguran daka
Kiswahili - Nakupenda
Konkani - Tu magel moga cho
Korean - Sarang Heyo
Latin - Te amo
Latvian - Es tevi miilu
Lebanese - Bahibak
Lithuanian - Tave myliu
Malay - Saya cintakan mu / Aku cinta padamu
Malayalam - Njan Ninne Premikunnu
Mandarin Chinese - Wo ai ni
Marathi - Me tula prem karto
Mohawk - Kanbhik
Moroccan - Ana moajaba bik
Nahuatl - Ni mits neki
Navaho - Ayor anosh'ni
Norwegian - Jeg Elsker Deg
Pandacan - Syota na kita!!
Pangasinan - Inaru Taka
Papiamento - Mi ta stimabo
Persian - Doo-set daaram
Pig Latin - Iay ovlay ouyay
Polish - Kocham Ciebie
Portuguese - Eu te amo
Romanian - Te iubesc
Russian - Ya tebya liubliu
Scot Gaelic - Tha gra'dh agam ort
Serbian - Volim te
Setswana - Ke a go rata
Sign Language - ,\,,/ (represents position of fingers when signing'I Love You')
Sindhi - Maa tokhe pyar kendo ahyan
Sioux - Techihhila
Slovak - Lu`bim ta
Slovenian - Ljubim te
Spanish - Te quiero / Te amo
Swahili - Ninapenda wewe
Swedish - Jag alskar dig
Swiss-German - Ich lieb Di
Tagalog - Mahal kita
Taiwanese - Wa ga ei li
Tahitian - Ua Here Vau Ia Oe
Tamil - Nan unnai kathalikaraen
Telugu - Nenu ninnu premistunnanu
Thai - Chan rak khun (to male)
Thai - Phom rak khun (to female)
Turkish - Seni Seviyorum
Ukrainian - Ya tebe kahayu
Urdu - mai aap say pyaar karta hoo
Vietnamese - Anh ye^u em (to female)
Vietnamese - Em ye^u anh (to male)
Welsh - 'Rwy'n dy garu
Yiddish - Ikh hob dikh
Yoruba - Mo ni fe
Friday, July 13, 2007
KISSING QUOTES
"A kiss can be a comma, a question mark, or an exclamation point.
That's basic spelling that every woman ought to know." - Mistinguett
"At last you kissed me, I could die in waves again, and one good lick of quicksand took...." - Heather McHugh
"I am in favor of preserving the French habit of kissing the hands of ladies. After all, one must start somewhere." - Sacha Guitry
"The most eloquent silence; that of two mouths meeting in a kiss. - unknown
"The soul that can speak with its eyes can also kiss with a gaze." - unknown
"There's this place in me where your fingerprints still rest, your kisses still linger, and your whispers softly echo. It's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me." - Gretchen
Kemp
"You don't have to say anything and you don't have to do anything. Not a thing. Oh, maybe just whistle. You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and ... blow.'' - Lauren Bacall in To Have and Have Not
That's basic spelling that every woman ought to know." - Mistinguett
"At last you kissed me, I could die in waves again, and one good lick of quicksand took...." - Heather McHugh
"I am in favor of preserving the French habit of kissing the hands of ladies. After all, one must start somewhere." - Sacha Guitry
"The most eloquent silence; that of two mouths meeting in a kiss. - unknown
"The soul that can speak with its eyes can also kiss with a gaze." - unknown
"There's this place in me where your fingerprints still rest, your kisses still linger, and your whispers softly echo. It's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me." - Gretchen
Kemp
"You don't have to say anything and you don't have to do anything. Not a thing. Oh, maybe just whistle. You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and ... blow.'' - Lauren Bacall in To Have and Have Not
ROMANTIC AND PASSIONATE SAYINGS
"Paradise is always where love dwells." - Jean Paul F. Richter
"If I know what love is, it is because of you." - Herman Hesse
"Once in awhile, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale." - anonymous quotation
"Till I loved I never lived—enough." - Emily Dickenson
"O happy hours when I may once more encircle within these arms the dearest object of my love- when I shall again feel the pressure of that 'aching head' which will delight to recline upon my bosom, when I may again press to my heart which palpitates with the purest affection that loved one who has so long shared its undivided devotion." - Alexander Hamilton Rice
"The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a woman's heart." - Josiah G.
"If I know what love is, it is because of you." - Herman Hesse
"Once in awhile, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale." - anonymous quotation
"Till I loved I never lived—enough." - Emily Dickenson
"O happy hours when I may once more encircle within these arms the dearest object of my love- when I shall again feel the pressure of that 'aching head' which will delight to recline upon my bosom, when I may again press to my heart which palpitates with the purest affection that loved one who has so long shared its undivided devotion." - Alexander Hamilton Rice
"The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a woman's heart." - Josiah G.
COMFORTING LOVE QUOTATIONS
Words that heal a heart
"Just because someone doesn't love you in the way you want them to, doesn't mean that they don't love you with all they've got. " - author unknown
"For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it. " - Ivan Panin
"Even a very small degree of hope is enough to cause the birth of love." - Stendhal
"You may only be one person to the world, but you may also be the world to one person." - Anonymous
"We learn only from those we love." - Johann Von Eckermann
"My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it is on your plate." - Thornton Wilder
"I asked professors who teach the meaning of life to tell me what is happiness/ And I went to famous executives who boss the work of thousands of men/ They all shook their heads and gave me a smile/ As though I were trying to fool with them/ And then one Sunday afternoon I just wandered out, along the Des Plaines River/ And I saw a crowd of Hungarians under the trees/ With their women and children and a keg of beer and an accordian." - Carl Sandburg
"Just because someone doesn't love you in the way you want them to, doesn't mean that they don't love you with all they've got. " - author unknown
"For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it. " - Ivan Panin
"Even a very small degree of hope is enough to cause the birth of love." - Stendhal
"You may only be one person to the world, but you may also be the world to one person." - Anonymous
"We learn only from those we love." - Johann Von Eckermann
"My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it is on your plate." - Thornton Wilder
"I asked professors who teach the meaning of life to tell me what is happiness/ And I went to famous executives who boss the work of thousands of men/ They all shook their heads and gave me a smile/ As though I were trying to fool with them/ And then one Sunday afternoon I just wandered out, along the Des Plaines River/ And I saw a crowd of Hungarians under the trees/ With their women and children and a keg of beer and an accordian." - Carl Sandburg
LOVE QUOTES
"One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love." -
"Attention is the most basic form of love; through it we bless and are blessed." -
"We love because it's the only true adventure." -
"Love is like quicksilver in the hand.
Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away." - Dorothy Parker
"Love is friendship set on fire." - unknown
"Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing." - Goethe
"To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia." - H.L. Mencken
"Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it...It really is worth fighting for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk everything, you risk even more." - Erica Jong
"Sometimes love is stronger than a man's convictions." - Isaac Bashevis Singer
"Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
"Maybe love is like luck. You have to go all the way to find it." - Robert Mitchum
"Love stretches your heart and makes you big inside." - Margaret Walker
"Love has no awareness of merit or demerit; it has no scale... Love loves; this is its nature." - Howard Thurman
"Love is like war: Easy to begin but hard to end." - Anonymous
"Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other." - Rainer Maria Rilke
"Where love is, no room is too small." - Talmud
"Loves makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place." - Zora Neale Hurston
"Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired." - Mark Twain
"Love is more than three words mumbled before bedtime. Love is sustained by action, a pattern of devotion in the things we do for each other every day." - Nicholas Sparks
"To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven." - Karen Sunde
"A love song is just a caress set to music." - Sigmund Romberg
"Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit." - Peter Ustinov
"Love is like a violin. The music may stop now and then, but the strings remain forever." - unknown
"Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence." - Erich Fromm
"In the final analysis, love is the only reflection of man's worth." - Bill Wundram, Iowa Quad Cities Times
"Love doesn't make the world go round, love is what makes the ride worthwhile." - Elizabeth Browning
"Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, A medley of extemporanea; And love is a thing that can never go wrong; And I am Marie of Roumania." - Dorothy Parker
"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down."
"Attention is the most basic form of love; through it we bless and are blessed." -
"We love because it's the only true adventure." -
"Love is like quicksilver in the hand.
Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away." - Dorothy Parker
"Love is friendship set on fire." - unknown
"Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing." - Goethe
"To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia." - H.L. Mencken
"Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it...It really is worth fighting for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk everything, you risk even more." - Erica Jong
"Sometimes love is stronger than a man's convictions." - Isaac Bashevis Singer
"Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
"Maybe love is like luck. You have to go all the way to find it." - Robert Mitchum
"Love stretches your heart and makes you big inside." - Margaret Walker
"Love has no awareness of merit or demerit; it has no scale... Love loves; this is its nature." - Howard Thurman
"Love is like war: Easy to begin but hard to end." - Anonymous
"Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other." - Rainer Maria Rilke
"Where love is, no room is too small." - Talmud
"Loves makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place." - Zora Neale Hurston
"Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired." - Mark Twain
"Love is more than three words mumbled before bedtime. Love is sustained by action, a pattern of devotion in the things we do for each other every day." - Nicholas Sparks
"To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven." - Karen Sunde
"A love song is just a caress set to music." - Sigmund Romberg
"Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit." - Peter Ustinov
"Love is like a violin. The music may stop now and then, but the strings remain forever." - unknown
"Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence." - Erich Fromm
"In the final analysis, love is the only reflection of man's worth." - Bill Wundram, Iowa Quad Cities Times
"Love doesn't make the world go round, love is what makes the ride worthwhile." - Elizabeth Browning
"Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, A medley of extemporanea; And love is a thing that can never go wrong; And I am Marie of Roumania." - Dorothy Parker
"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down."
Tips for Finding Romance Without Leaving Home
Romance needn’t be limited to honeymoons and romantic getaways. With a little effort, you can fill your home with romance whenever you the mood strikes you. Adding romance at home can be as simple as changing your routine, taking something you do all the time and doing it in a new way.
Eat dinner by the fireplace instead of the kitchen. Or linger over breakfast in bed. Drink from your best crystal instead of your everyday glasses. Sleep under the stars instead of in the bedroom. Take a shower… together.
Heat Up Your Home
Take a look around. There are many ways to heat things up and fill your home with romance. Play soft music during dinner, add flowers to the dining room table and candles everywhere. Turn your bedroom into an intimate hideaway. (This doesn't have to be expensive or difficult. Sometimes just tidying up makes a difference.) Try a new bedspread or fresh thick towels for the bath. Install a dimmer switch to create seductive lighting.
Follow a Five-Step Plan for a Perfect Night of Passion
With a little planning you can have one of those Big Nights right at home. Set aside an evening for just the two of you, and follow these simple steps:
1. Remove the distractions. If you have young children, arrange for a family member or close friend to take care of them for the night. And turn off the TV – it's the number one destroyer of romance.
2. Issue an Invitation. "Invite" your partner to spend a private evening with you – a note on attractive paper is just right for that invitation. Be a little mysterious. For example, “Would you please set aside Saturday night for me… I have something in mind for us.” Make sure the invitation says where to meet you (the bedroom) and what time.
3. Set the stage. Prepare or purchase your favorite foods and drinks, and arrange them in the bedroom. Put on soft music and light some candles. To add to the mystery, suggest that your partner get dressed in another room.
4. Plan an Ice Breaker. When your partner shows up, you’ll want a way to get you both in the mood. For some couples it’s an invitation to dance (very slowly), for other couples it’s a romantic board game or a sexy movie. You know what your partner enjoys, so go ahead and indulge.
5. Extend the magic. Provide a “thank you” note at breakfast. There’s nothing more romantic than your partner knowing how appreciated he or she is.
Eat dinner by the fireplace instead of the kitchen. Or linger over breakfast in bed. Drink from your best crystal instead of your everyday glasses. Sleep under the stars instead of in the bedroom. Take a shower… together.
Heat Up Your Home
Take a look around. There are many ways to heat things up and fill your home with romance. Play soft music during dinner, add flowers to the dining room table and candles everywhere. Turn your bedroom into an intimate hideaway. (This doesn't have to be expensive or difficult. Sometimes just tidying up makes a difference.) Try a new bedspread or fresh thick towels for the bath. Install a dimmer switch to create seductive lighting.
Follow a Five-Step Plan for a Perfect Night of Passion
With a little planning you can have one of those Big Nights right at home. Set aside an evening for just the two of you, and follow these simple steps:
1. Remove the distractions. If you have young children, arrange for a family member or close friend to take care of them for the night. And turn off the TV – it's the number one destroyer of romance.
2. Issue an Invitation. "Invite" your partner to spend a private evening with you – a note on attractive paper is just right for that invitation. Be a little mysterious. For example, “Would you please set aside Saturday night for me… I have something in mind for us.” Make sure the invitation says where to meet you (the bedroom) and what time.
3. Set the stage. Prepare or purchase your favorite foods and drinks, and arrange them in the bedroom. Put on soft music and light some candles. To add to the mystery, suggest that your partner get dressed in another room.
4. Plan an Ice Breaker. When your partner shows up, you’ll want a way to get you both in the mood. For some couples it’s an invitation to dance (very slowly), for other couples it’s a romantic board game or a sexy movie. You know what your partner enjoys, so go ahead and indulge.
5. Extend the magic. Provide a “thank you” note at breakfast. There’s nothing more romantic than your partner knowing how appreciated he or she is.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
keeping love
"Finding and keeping love is not just a romantic idea; it's crucial to our intact survival."
"Relationships pave the way for us to recapture our wholeness by correcting the distortions of care taking and socialization that distanced us from our original selves (when just born). It is in unconditional loving our partner, making it safe for them to open to love, letting that love sink in over time so that trust can build, that allows their fullness to come back into being, so they can feel their oneness (like the baby in the womb), their totality
"Relationships pave the way for us to recapture our wholeness by correcting the distortions of care taking and socialization that distanced us from our original selves (when just born). It is in unconditional loving our partner, making it safe for them to open to love, letting that love sink in over time so that trust can build, that allows their fullness to come back into being, so they can feel their oneness (like the baby in the womb), their totality
Scientific Answers
Researchers (Hatfield & Rapson, 1995) have broken up love into two main types:
Passionate love which involves continuously thinking about the loved one and also involves warm sexual feelings and powerful emotional reactions.
Companionate love is having trusting and tender feelings for someone who is close to you.
Now one of the best known theories of love (which means an educated guess that isn't proven fact) is Robert Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love.
The three components of the Triangular Theory of Love are:
Passion, the feeling physically aroused and attracted to someone.
Passion is what makes you feel "in love" and is the feeling most associated with love. It also rises quickly and strongly influences and biases your judgment.
Intimacy, the feeling close and connected to someone (developed through sharing and very good communications over time).
Intimacy is what makes you want to share and offer emotional and material support to each other.
Commitment, pledging to your self and each other to strengthen the feelings of love and to actively maintain the relationship.
Commitment is what makes you want to be serious, have a serious relationship and promise to be there for the other person if things get tough.
Now Sternberg also uses his Triangular Theory of Love to answer some of the most commonly asked questions about love:
Is there love at first sight?
This is when we are overwhelmed by passion, without any intimacy or commitment (both of which take time). Sternberg calls this infatuated love, Because there is not intimacy or commitment, infatuated love is fated to fade away.
Why do some people get married after being in love for a very short time?
This is a combination of passion and commitment, but without any intimacy. Sternberg calls this Hollywood love. This is where two people make a commitment to each other based on their passion. Unless intimacy develops over time, this relationship most likely will end.
Can their be love without sex?
Ah yes, companionate love, where intimacy and commitment are present without any sexual passion.
Why doesn't romantic love last?
Passion and intimacy without commitment is Romantic love. When the passion fades, and the intimacy wanes, the relationship ends.
This a close friend sent me e-mail:
Infatuation vs. Love
Infatuation is instant desire - one set of glands calling to another.
Love is friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows, one day at a time.
Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager, but not genuinely happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about your beloved that you would just as soon not examine too closely. It might spoil the dream.
Love is the quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you - to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by their presence, even when they are away. Miles do not separate you. You have so many wonderful little films in your head that you keep replaying. But near or far, you know they are yours, and you can wait.
Infatuation says, "We must get married right away. I can't risk losing them."
Love says, "Be patient. Don't panic. Plan your future with confidence."
Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. Whenever you are together, you hope it will end in intimacy.
Love is not based on sex. It is the maturation of friendship, which makes sex so much sweeter. You must be friends before you can be lovers.
Infatuation lacks confidence. When they're away, you wonder if they're cheating. Sometimes, you check.
Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. They feel your trust, and it makes them even more trustworthy.
Infatuation might lead you to do things you will regret, but love never steers you in the wrong direction.
Love is an upper. It makes you feel whole. It completes the circle. It fills the empty space in your heart. Love is elevating. It lifts you up. It makes you look up. It makes you think up. It makes you a better person than you were before. If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things you don't have. If there is no love in your life, whatever else there is has a lot less meaning.
The secret of our being is not only to live but to have something to live for.
Researchers (Hatfield & Rapson, 1995) have broken up love into two main types:
Passionate love which involves continuously thinking about the loved one and also involves warm sexual feelings and powerful emotional reactions.
Companionate love is having trusting and tender feelings for someone who is close to you.
Now one of the best known theories of love (which means an educated guess that isn't proven fact) is Robert Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love.
The three components of the Triangular Theory of Love are:
Passion, the feeling physically aroused and attracted to someone.
Passion is what makes you feel "in love" and is the feeling most associated with love. It also rises quickly and strongly influences and biases your judgment.
Intimacy, the feeling close and connected to someone (developed through sharing and very good communications over time).
Intimacy is what makes you want to share and offer emotional and material support to each other.
Commitment, pledging to your self and each other to strengthen the feelings of love and to actively maintain the relationship.
Commitment is what makes you want to be serious, have a serious relationship and promise to be there for the other person if things get tough.
Now Sternberg also uses his Triangular Theory of Love to answer some of the most commonly asked questions about love:
Is there love at first sight?
This is when we are overwhelmed by passion, without any intimacy or commitment (both of which take time). Sternberg calls this infatuated love, Because there is not intimacy or commitment, infatuated love is fated to fade away.
Why do some people get married after being in love for a very short time?
This is a combination of passion and commitment, but without any intimacy. Sternberg calls this Hollywood love. This is where two people make a commitment to each other based on their passion. Unless intimacy develops over time, this relationship most likely will end.
Can their be love without sex?
Ah yes, companionate love, where intimacy and commitment are present without any sexual passion.
Why doesn't romantic love last?
Passion and intimacy without commitment is Romantic love. When the passion fades, and the intimacy wanes, the relationship ends.
This a close friend sent me e-mail:
Infatuation vs. Love
Infatuation is instant desire - one set of glands calling to another.
Love is friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows, one day at a time.
Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager, but not genuinely happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about your beloved that you would just as soon not examine too closely. It might spoil the dream.
Love is the quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you - to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by their presence, even when they are away. Miles do not separate you. You have so many wonderful little films in your head that you keep replaying. But near or far, you know they are yours, and you can wait.
Infatuation says, "We must get married right away. I can't risk losing them."
Love says, "Be patient. Don't panic. Plan your future with confidence."
Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. Whenever you are together, you hope it will end in intimacy.
Love is not based on sex. It is the maturation of friendship, which makes sex so much sweeter. You must be friends before you can be lovers.
Infatuation lacks confidence. When they're away, you wonder if they're cheating. Sometimes, you check.
Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. They feel your trust, and it makes them even more trustworthy.
Infatuation might lead you to do things you will regret, but love never steers you in the wrong direction.
Love is an upper. It makes you feel whole. It completes the circle. It fills the empty space in your heart. Love is elevating. It lifts you up. It makes you look up. It makes you think up. It makes you a better person than you were before. If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things you don't have. If there is no love in your life, whatever else there is has a lot less meaning.
The secret of our being is not only to live but to have something to live for.
Combined pressure from Rivers State government of Nigeria and some prominent Ijaw leaders forced the release of Baby Margaret Hill, the three-year-old British girl abducted last week.The little girl, who was kidnapped Thursday last week near her school in Port Harcourt Nigeria by five gunmen, was let go on Sunday night by her abductors. It was gathered that government officials and the negotiators, after sizing up the hostage-takers, realized that they were ransome-seekers and went into several hours of negotiations with them. The kidnappers, whose identities remained unknown, were said to have further been put under pressure by some notable indigenes of the Niger Delta who warned of the consequences of their action, including a possible raid on their hide-out. Little Margaret was said to have been released at about 10.00 p.m. She was handed over at the Ogbakiri town, in Emuohua. Prior to the release, her parents, Mike and Oluchi Hill, had met Governor Omehia in Port Harcourt for nearly an hour during which time the governor assured them that everything would be done to ensure the release of their baby. The parents, during the talks with Omehia, reportedly broke down and shed tears uncontrollably."I know how you feel since your daughter was taken some days ago and we share your agony. The government and people of Rivers State are with you in these agonizing moment of your life and we pray that it comes to an end soon," Omehia had told them.With the release of Margaret on Sunday, the governor’s prayer has come to pass. Speaking on the incident on Monday the Chief Press Secretary to the State Governor, Mr. Emma Okah, told Daily Sun that the baby was set free without payment of any ransome even though the kidnappers had initially demanded a whopping N50 million pay off. "They kept going down during the negotiation until it got to N3 million and the government eventually made it clear that it was not ready to pay for the girl’s release," he said.Mr. Okah said the kidnappers were later given an ultimatum to release the girl just as some Ijaw leaders mounted pressure and warned them that they risked an attack. "It was the combined pressure that forced them to release the child without getting a kobo," Okah said. It would be recalled that during a courtesy call on Governor Celestine Omehia, at the weekend, the Inspector General of Police, Mr. Mike Okiro, suggested that hostage-takers in the Niger Delta region should be regarded and treated as criminals. Okiro who alleged that most of those involved in the ignoble act are non-indigenes of the region, said the perpetrators were doing so for selfish interests and warned that the police would no longer tolerate the ugly trend. "We cannot allow a situation where people have been complaining about marginalization and now that government has woken up and wants to do something about the situation, some people are going against what the government is planning", he said.The leader of the Niger Delta Peoples Volunteer Forces (NDPVF), Alhaji Mujaheed Asari-Dokubo had like many other people criticized the action. He descridbed the abductors as criminals rather than freedom fighters.
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